Celebrating Mothers Day Regardless of Parenting Skills
Mothers Day can be a challenging time, especially when reflecting on the complex dynamics of our relationships with our mothers. Would you celebrate Mothers Day with your mother if she wasn’t the best mother? This is a question that many of us might grapple with, especially when considering the challenges that our parents might have faced in their roles.
The Complexity of Parenting
I have personally experienced this with my father. While he wasn’t a terrible father, he found being a dad quite difficult. He never beat, abused, or neglected me, but he simply wasn’t a natural parent. Upon digging deeper, I found that his father was a bully and an abusive dictator. My father, like many of us, lacked a positive role model, which may have contributed to his struggles in parenting. He used to feel anxious before visiting his own father, and I suspect he had anxiety disorder. Despite these challenges, he did his best to be a father.
Today, on occasions like Father’s Day, I send him a nice card with a message and call him to see how he’s doing. It’s important to start peeling back the surface to understand why our mothers might not be the best mums. It’s not always easy, and there are usually underlying reasons. We can still show our appreciation with a simple card, some chocolates, or a phone call. We don’t have to go overboard, but I believe our mothers have done their best even if it wasn’t perfect.
Mother's Day: An Act of Appreciation
No matter how you might perceive your mother, the fact remains that she brought you into this world. Celebrating Mothers Day is a wonderful way to show your appreciation for the sacrifices she made and the life she gave you. It’s a time to acknowledge her role in your growth and development, and how she has helped you find happiness in this beautiful world.
While celebrating Mothers Day, it might also help if you reflect on the mother-and-child relationship. By showing your love and gratitude, you can help her see her flaws and become a more caring and loving mother. This act of appreciation can go a long way in strengthening your bond and providing her with the emotional support she needs.
Why Honor Your Mother Regardless of Parenting Skills
Honoring your mother on Mothers Day is not just about acknowledging her parenting. It's about recognizing the incredible act of giving life and the sacrifices she made during the labor process. The marks on her tummy are a testament to the love she showed you by carrying and bringing you into this world. No one else gave birth to you but your mother. Her labor pains and her pregnancy are symbols of her unwavering commitment to your life.
It’s also important to note that you don’t necessarily have to follow traditions blindly. If you feel that celebrating your mother does not resonate with you, and you believe you had a difficult relationship with her, it’s perfectly acceptable not to celebrate her. You don’t have to give respect to someone you feel no connection with, just to please others. Living a truth that aligns with your values is essential. Your mother might not appreciate it, but that shouldn’t deter you from being honest with yourself and others.
Scriptural Guidelines and Personal Values
Some might argue that honoring one's mother is a commandment. While this is true, it’s important to consider the nuances of that commandment. The Bible, for instance, does command us to honor our parents, but it also says, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” These are both valid commandments, but they serve different purposes. You can honor your mother in a way that doesn’t cause her distress or anger.
In conclusion, Mothers Day is a time to reflect on the incredible journey of motherhood and the sacrifices made by your mother. While your mother’s parenting skills might not have been perfect, her role in your life is undeniably crucial. By acknowledging and appreciating her, even if it’s in small ways, you can help her grow and become a better mother. Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance between respecting tradition and staying true to yourself.