Naming the Wives in Polygamous Muslim Families: Cultural Nuances and Personal Preferences
In the context of polygamous Muslim families, the way children address their fathers' other wives can vary widely, influenced by cultural, familial, and linguistic factors. This article explores the different naming conventions and offers insights from various personal experiences and cultural perspectives.
Manifestations of Naming in Polygamous Contexts
No specific names are mandated for children to use when addressing their fathers' other wives. Instead, it is largely up to personal choice and family norms. For instance, in a household where the children grew up with two step-mothers, they might refer to one mother as 'iya', which means 'mother' in their native language. Similarly, the second mother might be called a variation of the word, like 'maama' or 'maamii'.
Specific Examples from Various Cultures
Personal Experience
My husband, who is against his father's second marriage with understandable reasons, calls her both 'mak cik', meaning 'auntie', and 'ibu', meaning 'mother', depending on the situation. This illustrates the flexibility and personal choice involved in addressing family members from other wives.
In Bangladesh
In Bangladesh, a predominantly Muslim country in South Asia, children address their mothers as 'Maa' or 'Amma', both of which mean 'mother'. In the case of additional wives, they might use 'Boro Maa' or 'Chhoto Maa', meaning 'elder mother' or 'younger mother', respectively, to distinguish between different wives.
Regional Variations
In regions where polygamy is more common, such as certain African tribes, different terms and even the direct names of the women may be used. In some English-speaking Western cultures, common variations of 'Mom', 'Mama', 'Mum', or 'Mommy' are used, followed by the father or step-father's first name, like 'Daddy John' or 'Mama Betty'.
The Importance of Personal Choice and Family Dynamics
It is crucial to recognize that each family's decision on how to address other wives should be influenced by the unique dynamics within the family. For example, in a scenario where the biological mother is referred to as 'Mummy', while the partner is addressed as 'Mama', it emphasizes a hierarchical and respectful family structure. Alternatively, if the name of another partner is simply their first name, it may reflect a closer and more personal relationship.
Furthermore, the relationship between the children and the other spouses plays a significant role in how they choose to address them. Some families might prefer to be affectionate and use pet names, while others might prefer more formal terms. This flexibility allows each family to create a system that feels natural and comfortable for all involved.
Cultural and Linguistic Influences
Language and cultural context profoundly impact the choice of names. In many tribal societies, there are specific words that denote a father's other wife, and the children might use these terms with affectionate variations, such as nicknames. Conversely, in more monogamous Western societies, more common familial terms like 'aunt' or 'uncle' are used, often followed by first names.
Historical Context in Utah
During the time when the LDS church in Utah practiced polygamy, the other wives were often referred to as 'Aunt _first name_' or 'Auntie _first name_', due to the familial relationships among them. This historical practice reflects the cultural and familial connections that influenced naming norms in polygamous settings.
In summary, the way children refer to their fathers' other wives in polygamous Muslim families is deeply rooted in cultural, familial, and linguistic practices. Each family can choose a naming system that best reflects their unique relationships and personal preferences, respecting the diversity and complexity of these family dynamics.