Narcissists and the Art of Hoovering: Unraveling the Love Bombing Phase

Understanding the behavior of narcissists during their love bombing phase is crucial for anyone in a relationship or interacting with one. Narcissists often engage in a controversial practice known as 'hoovering,' which involves rekindling a previous relationship with a former partner. This article will delve into how narcissists 'hoover' their old supply during the love bombing stage with new supply, the motivations behind this behavior, and the psychological impact it can have.

What is Hoovering?

Hoovering refers to the strategic re-engagement and manipulation of a previous partner (often referred to as 'old supply') when a narcissist has moved on to a new romantic or social interest (new supply). This behavior is primarily driven by the narcissist's need for validation and control, particularly as they may feel insecure in their current relationship and seek multiple sources of emotional sustenance.

Hoovering Techniques During the Love Bombing Phase

During the love bombing phase of a new relationship, a narcissist may employ several techniques to manage their old supply:

Reach Out to Old Supply: They might contact their ex-partner to rekindle the relationship, often using charm or flattery to draw them back in. This helps to create a sense of discomfort or jealousy in the new supply, making the former relationship seem more desirable. Create a Sense of Competition: By showcasing their new relationship, the narcissist may attempt to provoke jealousy in the old supply, making them feel inadequate or wanting to reclaim their position. This emotional manipulation helps to maintain control and maintain interest. Manipulate Emotions: They may express regret or claim to have changed, attempting to elicit sympathy and rekindle the emotional connection. This tactic is based on the narcissist's need for validation and attention. Test Boundaries: The narcissist may gauge the old supply's willingness to engage again, often using tactics that play on their vulnerabilities. This helps to assess the level of influence and control the old supply still holds over them.

The Psychology Behind Hoovering

The motivations behind a narcissist's hoovering behavior are rooted in their psychological need for validation and control. During the love bombing phase with a new partner, the narcissist may feel a sense of insecurity, leading them to seek multiple sources of emotional sustenance. This complex behavior is a manifestation of their pattern of emotional manipulation and dependency.

The Impact of Hoovering

Hoovering can have profound psychological effects on both the subject of the hoovering and the old supply. For the new supply, it can create feelings of uncertainty, low self-esteem, and confusion. For the old supply, the rekindling of past emotions can be emotionally exhausting and potentially harmful.

It is crucial to recognize when hoovering is taking place and to establish boundaries to protect oneself from emotional abuse. The decision to engage or not is ultimately up to the individual, but awareness of the tactics and motivations behind hoovering can empower one to make informed choices.