Reflections on Being a Dropper: A Journey of Hope and Determination

I took a one-year gap to prepare for the CAT exam, a rigorous test that opens doors to India's prestigious management institutes (IMIs) like the Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs). Unfortunately, my performance did not meet my expectations during the exam, and despite attending regular coaching classes, I found it challenging to excel. The examination was a source of immense panic, and my last mock exam scores were mediocre. This left me feeling disheartened and uncertain about my future.

Feeling Overwhelmed and Demotivated

The disappointment was compounded by the reality that many of my friends had already enrolled in Tier 3-4 colleges. These institutions, while important, are not seen as the pinnacle of educational achievement. This situation left me feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and questioning my worth. At times, I felt like a burden to my parents, who had invested heavily in my education. Despite the urging of some relatives to avoid another gap year, I found it difficult to convince myself to settle for a lower-tier college.

Quest for Motivation and Self-Worth

During my darkest moments, I would try to remind myself that I am deserving of attending a reputable business school. Visualizing myself in an IIM and imagining the life that comes with it provided me with a much-needed boost of hope and determination. I often turn to motivational answers on Quora, reading stories of individuals who faced similar challenges and achieved their dreams. These stories help me feel more confident and inspired, reminding me that it is possible to overcome obstacles and achieve my goals.

The Impact of Self-Doubt and Depression

Self-doubt and depression have occasionally hit me hard. Some nights, I would find myself crying and questioning my future, wondering if I would ever succeed. The fear of wasting another year of my life became overwhelming, as I tried to balance my ambitions with the reality of my current situation. However, these moments of despair have not deterred me from my goal. Instead, they have given me a stronger resolve to push through and achieve my dream of attending an IIM.

Supporting Myself Through Affirmations and Community

To combat the feelings of hopelessness, I have found solace in affirmations and the support of my community. I remind myself of my worth and the potential that lies within me. Regular motivational sessions, whether online or in-person, have become an integral part of my routine. These sessions provide me with the encouragement and motivation to stay the course, despite the challenges.

Conclusion: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Resilience

Being a dropper may not be easy, but it has taught me valuable lessons about resilience, self-belief, and perseverance. Through my journey, I have learned to navigate the complexities of self-doubt and depression, and I now view these experiences as stepping stones to success. As I prepare for another attempt, I am carrying with me the hope, determination, and support of my community. Ultimately, I am committed to overcoming the challenges that lie ahead and achieving my dream of attending a top business school.