The Psychology Behind Those Who Ruin Things for Others: Healing Begins with Understanding
It is a truth universally acknowledged that some individuals, frequently misunderstood, have the tendency to bring down others, amplifying sorrow and distress in their wake. I will not pretend to fully comprehend the depths of their souls, but I hope to shed light on the psychology behind this behavior, and perhaps, through understanding, we can strive to heal. This article will explore the underlying reasons for why people choose to make others feel bad, and why such actions provide temporary solace to those who engage in them.
Self-Destructive Echos
When we interact with these individuals, we often encounter a profound sense of emptiness. Those who find pleasure in the suffering of others typically possess their own sense of dissatisfaction. In their own lives, they may lack joy, companionship, and success. To understand their behavior, it is crucial to address the root causes that drive them.
These individuals tend to harbor deep-seated unhappiness and dissatisfaction, often as a result of a lack of meaningful connections in their lives. They may feel isolated, unappreciated, or even worthless, leading them to lash out and bring others down. Without a sense of purpose or fulfillment, they can only find fleeting satisfaction in perceived superiority or superiority over others.
They frequently lack supportive relationships, such as with friends and family, which contribute to their emotional well-being. This absence of empathy and understanding creates a vacuum where they seek to exert control or impact – albeit through harmful means – often using others as temporary props for their ego.
The Instinct to Mayhem
When delving into the psychology of these individuals, one significant factor often stands out: an underlying need for validation and belonging. These people frequently find themselves amidst feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, leading them to seek a sense of power or superiority through the misfortune of others. Furthermore, their actions can be driven by envy, a pervasive belief that others are better or more successful.
Their actions are not solely focused on diminishing the well-being of others; rather, these incidents serve as a manifestation of pent-up negative emotions. By projecting their own distress onto others, they seek to alleviate their own agony, even if it comes at the expense of others' happiness. This can lead to a toxic cycle where such individuals repeatedly resort to making others miserable as a way to temporarily boost their own self-esteem.
Empowerment Through Oppression
For these individuals, any form of oppression, however indirect, can momentarily enhance their own sense of power and worth. This is where the concept of superman or superwoman comes into play. By controlling or negatively impacting another individual, they can feel a temporary surge of confidence and superiority. It is a precarious form of psychological compensation, in which the act of bringing others down momentarily raises them to a place of apparent dominance or victory.
They might perceive this behavior as a form of justice or self-defence, believing that their actions are necessary to level the playing field or to stand up against what they see as unfair or undeserved advantages of others. However, their perception is often distorted, leading to a cycle of hurt and resentment that only perpetuates negative behaviors and emotions.
A Call to Action
Understanding and addressing the psychology behind these behaviors is not only crucial for those directly affected but also for society as a whole. It is essential to treat these individuals with kindness and dignity, as they too are navigating complex emotional landscapes. By offering support and understanding, we may help them work through their own struggles and find healthier ways to cope and express their feelings.
A short example: I witnessed a scenario where individuals boasted about using food banks, including their children, without any sense of shame. This triggered strong negative emotions in me, but instead of focusing on making them feel bad, I could have used the opportunity to express my disapproval constructively. By suggesting that I would never make it seem like a great thing if I needed food bank assistance, I could have sparked a conversation about empathy and the importance of dignity.
We need to take a stance against those who harm others, while also striving to help heal those who possess these tendencies. By transforming our interactions with compassion and understanding, we can contribute to a more empathetic and resilient society.
Big hugs to everyone and more understanding in our interactions.