Why Can't I Stop Thinking About the Girl I Met Years Ago?

It's not uncommon to fixate on someone you encountered briefly, especially if there was a strong impression or emotional response involved. Here are some reasons you might find yourself unable to stop thinking about her and ways to manage these thoughts.

1. Idealization

When you only have a limited memory of someone, it's easy to fill in gaps with your imagination, creating an idealized version of that person. This idealization can lead to a persistent cycle of thinking about her. For many, the novelty and mystery of past encounters can make them more intriguing than they actually were in real life.

2. Unresolved Feelings

There may have been a moment of connection or attraction during your encounter. This can leave you wondering about what could have been or what might have happened if you had taken a different action. Unresolved feelings can be particularly difficult to let go of, as they often stem from unfulfilled potential.

3. Nostalgia

Memories from the past can evoke strong feelings, especially if they remind you of a different time in your life or evoke a sense of longing. Nostalgia can stir up a range of emotions, from happiness to sadness, and often keeps the past person on your mind.

4. Curiosity

You might be curious about her life and how she has changed since you last saw her. This curiosity can keep her on your mind, as you may wonder about her growth and development. Curiosity can be a powerful driver of thoughts and can sometimes fuel unresolved feelings.

5. Emotional Impact

If the encounter was significant, it may have triggered emotions or reflections on your own life, relationships, or desires. These emotional impacts can leave a lasting impression and make it difficult to let go of the thoughts.

Tips for Managing These Thoughts

To help manage these thoughts, consider the following strategies:

Focus on the present. Engage in new activities or hobbies that can shift your attention away from your thoughts about her. Engage in conversations with friends or family. Talking about your feelings can provide a different perspective and help you navigate your emotions. Write down your thoughts. Journaling can be a therapeutic way to process your feelings and provide a sense of closure. Seek professional help. If your thoughts are causing significant distress, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support.

Only you know...

Cuz Sometimes. It Just Might Be the One

Do not listen to defeatist nonsense perpetuated by the long after the hype fucking incels. Sometimes, it just might be the one. Do not follow their thoughts or become a creepy stalker. Do not assault or become an objective nuisance. Let her know with subtlety and finesse. You have nothing to lose. You could gain the greatest bliss you have yet to experience.

This is coming from a man who shot his shot with a girl a country away, over a three-day fest. In my group. Four years later, I'm still messaging her, and she's messaging me. It's all still possibly projection, but it just may not be. What a gift. What a fucking gorgeous miracle of living. Just that possibility. Shoot your shot. And fuck whoever says it's not worth it. Listen to me… they're sad losers, codependent with their loneliness, and projecting shit that only holds water to an inarguable, absolute, destitute, cum-covered, fucking loser. You want to be happy, motherfucker? Reach for it. Be a fool. The parameters of happiness dictate it.